Love Yourself First and The Power of Gratitudes  

•Have you given yourself a hug today?  If not, why not?

        Do you realize that we seldom give ourselves some kind words, a mental hug, or a pat on the back?

•Can you tell me if you said this gratitude today, “I am grateful for the strength of my spirit (courage, etc.) and for

        the wisdom of my choices?”  If not, why not? 

Realize that you really do come first!

You cannot give what you do not have!  You cannot give love if it is not in you to give. How do you love your family and friends the way they deserve to be loved if you are not loving yourself? 

We are constantly giving away our power and when we need it for us; we are drained and too tired to feed our own soul’s, bodies and minds. 

Can you write ten things down right now that you appreciate about yourself and read it aloud?  If you can great, now have you taught your family and children how do this and why it is so important.

My mother worked about five different jobs a week for years to keep us off welfare.  I did my best to make the house run smooth for her and to look after my younger sister.  As she usually came home exhausted, she did not have the energy to take over as the housekeeper and chief bottle washer. It was not always easy to keep up this pace and we struggled for years to keep our heads above water.  

She never complained and she was so grateful to us for everything we could do. I never really saw my mom sick, unkind to anyone and she was generous to a fault. 

When I was thirteen I rebelled one night. I got angry and frustrated at my sister because I could not go to a party and have some fun for a change.  My sister told my mother how I had been (verbally) mean to her and why.  My mother said it was time we all had a date with each other and a treat.

She took a night off and we went to the restaurant for a meal which was rare and costly to her. She told us to order desserts and that was a real treat! When we got home she told us we had to learn to have “down time” and fun, even if it was not going to parties and out of the house. 

My mother told us many ways we could treat ourselves such as long baths, listening to our favorite music, talking to friends and write in a journal to share our feelings.  But most importantly she asked us to promise her that we would do something for her for the rest of our lives.  I have kept that promise and I want to share it with you.

Every night for many years she had us share at least five personal gratitude’s for the day.  These gratitude’s had to include one for each other and for ourselves.  One day when we got older she had us add something new to the gratitude’s. 

When saying the gratitude’s we had to start with working our day backwards because she said our dreams would be more powerful as we cleared the energy of the day. She added another new step; after the gratitude’s we had to find our greatest lesson or gift from the day? 

My mom, sister and I looked forward to the evening when we would play this game and we loved finding different gratitude’s each day. It changed our whole outlook on life and each other. When we were seventeen she added the last and most important step.

After we went to bed filled with our gratitude’s, learning’s and gifts we added a new saying in the morning. In her words it was simply this:

“When your feet hit the floor in the morning, simply say, “God whose life will I touch today?” 

From that point on, she would ask us if we first touched our own life that day because we cannot touch a life with love unless we love ourselves first. She taught us how to hug ourselves and how important it was to do it often.

Asking to touch someone’s life each day brings more gratitude into your life than you can ever imagine. When your hearts fills with love for others you know it is because you have discovered how to really love yourself.   Our gratitude’s were even easier to come by each night from that day on. 

Written and copyrighted May 1st, 2008.